August
Dear Lee
That was probably the worse august in my life, on the second I left Sean, I didn’t tell him I was leaving him, I didn’t know 100% myself that I was. I left some clothes, the ones I didn’t like, so that he wouldn’t know that I was probably leaving him but we both knew really. It had been a bad week. The fist day that I got there he was at work and I was going to get dressed up for sex, his big wooden chest that he kept bullets, porn and my sexy clothes in was locked. So I looked if he had moved them to his draws, in the 3rd draw down were his own pants, for some reason I picked them up to see if there was anything underneath and there were some small leopard skin knickers with a black lace trim. They were small, I could have got in them but they were not my style. They were trashy. It stopped me in my tracks, I can’t remember if I cried, I think I did, I remember lying on the bed for a while, just numb. Eventually I took them downstairs and waited for him to come through the door.
Just after 7 he came home, all smiles, happy to see me. When times were good I always got up and kissed him at the door as soon as he came in, so he knew straight away that something was wrong, the knickers were laid out on the coffee table and when he asked what was wrong I just pointed at them and said “They are not mine.”
We argued, went to bed in a sulk, didn’t have sex. I knew I had to spend the week there so I said I would forget about it.
That was just the start.